I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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