can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
