just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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