we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
