My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
