I love black thongs
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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