you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
