im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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