I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
