Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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