it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
