Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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