I think I am morally bankrupt
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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