Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
