Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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