you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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