But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
