You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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