There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
