no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
