did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
