I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
