I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
