Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have feelings that need drinking.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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