Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
