I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am midnight drunk by noon
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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