remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I understand Curling. That high.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
