Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
