I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
