I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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