smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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