Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Holy shit dude........stairs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
