She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So many bounce houses so little time
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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