i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
