It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize