batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
