Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
