out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
