ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
