respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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