Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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