i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
