And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize