you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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