Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Randomize
