There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
