i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
