Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Shame is for Republicans.
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