i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
