and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
